Public Apology!!!!!!!!

[mercguy]

I owe the public and the various members here, including the SORC, Ed Hern, etc, for all I have said in my HR postings. I probably went way overboard in my rantings and should let the "representatives" of APBA carry out the jobs they were elected to do. I realize I did/do go "overboard" with my doings and realize it really is childish and I sincerely apologize for my actions and will now "think" more about what i say here and will tone it back and stay out of the political issues............I know I have pissed a great many people off, but, if it is realized, I am really passionate about this sport and the ongoings involved..........

sincerely,

Daren Goehring

PS: my views still remain the same though.

[DougMc]

To lighten the mood a bit.

http://www.jibjab.com/jokebox/jokebo.../jokeid/101978

A Public Apology
By Steve Martin


Looking out over the East River from my jail cell, and still running for public office, I realize that I have taken several actions in my life for which I owe public apologies.

Once, I won a supermarket sweepstakes even though my second cousin was a box boy in that very store. I would like to apologize to Safeway Food, Inc., and its employees. I would like to apologize to my family, who have stood by me, and especially to my wife Karen. A wiser and more loyal spouse could not be found.

When I was twenty-one, I smoked marijuana every day for one year. I would like to apologize for the next fifteen years of anxiety attacks and drug-related phobias, including the feeling that when Ed Sullivan introduced Wayne and Shuster he was actually signalling my parents that I was high. I would like to apologize to my wife Karen, who still believes in me, and to the Marijuana Growers Association of Napa Valley and its affiliates, for any embarrassment I may have caused.

I would also like to mention a little incident that took place in the Holiday Inn in Ipsilante, Michigan, during that same time. As I was lying in bed in Room 342, I began counting the ceiling tiles. Since the room was square, it was an easy computation, taking no longer than the weekend. As Sunday evening rolled around, I began to compute how many imaginary ceiling tiles it would take to cover the walls and floor of my room. When I checked out of the hotel, I flippantly told the clerk that it would take twelve hundred and ninety-four imaginary ceiling tiles to fill the entire room. Two weeks later, while attempting to break the record for consecutive listenings to "American Pie," I realized I had included the real tiles in my calculation of imaginary tiles; I should have subtracted them from my total. I would like to apologize to the staff of the Holiday Inn for any inconvenience I may have caused, to the wonderful people at Universal Ceiling Tile, to my wife Karen, and to my two children, whose growth is stunted.

Several years ago, In California, I ate my first clam and said it tasted "like a gonad dipped in motor oil." I would like to apologize to Bob 'n' Betty's Clam Fiesta, and especially to Bob, who I found out later had only one testicle. I would like to apologize to the waitress, June, and her affiliates, and to the DePaul family dog, who suffered the contents of my nauseated stomach.

There are several incidents of sexual harassment I would like to apologize for:

In 1992, I was interviewing one Ms. Anna Floyd for a secretarial position when my pants accidentally fell down around my ankles as I was saying, "Ever seen one of these before?" Even though I was referring to my new Pocket Tape Memo Taker, I would like to apologize to Ms. Floyd for any grief this misunderstanding might have caused her. I would also like to apologize to the Pocket Tape people and their affiliates, and to International Hardwood Designs, whose floor my pants fell upon. I would especially like to apologize to my wife Karen, whose great understanding fills me with humility.

Once, in Hawaii, I had sex with a hundred-and-two-year-old male turtle. It is hard to argue that it was consensual. I would like to apologize to the turtle, his family, the Kahala Hilton Hotel, and the hundred or so diners who were eating at the Hilton's outdoor café. I would also like to apologize to my loyal wife Karen, who had to endure the subsequent news item in the "Also Noted" section of the Santa Barbara Women's Club Weekly.

In 1987, I attended a bar mitzvah in Manhattan while wearing white gabardine pants, white patent-leather slippers, a blue blazer with gold buttons, and a yachting cap. I would like to apologize to the Jewish people, to the state of Israel, to my family, who have stood by me, and to my wife, Karen, who has also endured my seventeen affairs and three out-of-wedlock children. Further, I would like to apologize to the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, for referring to its members as "colored people." My apology would not be complete if it didn't include my new wife, Nancy, who is of a pinkish tint, and our two children, who are white-colored.

Finally, I would like to apologize for spontaneously yelling the word "Savages!" after losing six thousand dollars on a roulette spin at the Choctaw Nation Casino and Sports Book. When I was growing up, the meaning of this word in our household closely approximated the Hawaiian "Aloha," and my use of it in the casino was meant to express "Until we meet again."

Now, on with the campaign!

[mrlou40]

Did Hell freeze over???

Just joking Daren, Give me a call if you want some help testing this coming week

Regards,
Carl 94-R

[14-H]

No apology necessary

Darren: If you don't keep flying off the handle, I might actually have a chance to pass you as the #2 poster on this message board. Seriously, though, I appreciate your comments. I do think the "I'm taking my ball home" ones are a little damaging to the sport, but I don't mind responding to your questions and comments. Sorry you couldn't make the meeting. I still owe you a beer. Ed.

[chicagopaul]

Mercguy,

I went to the annual meeting. My first question was "Where is the free beer?" My second question was "Who the hell is Mercguy?" Just curious to figure you out. I admire the passion, but jut did not get your approach.

Looks like you figured it out on your own. Been down the same rocky path myself.

The meetings were very long and very full. Given the task at hand I think they did a good job. Did I get most of what I wanted or thought should be done? Yes. Did I agree with everything? No, but was I allowed to voice my opinion? Yes! Is their heart in the right place? Yes.

Sounds like yours is too!

Chicago Paul

[MGallagher]

Daren,

First, no need for the apology. I have a lot of fun responding to your posts.

Second, all this bantering back and forth has prompted me to seriously start looking for a way to get to Washington for the nationals and race against you in CSR. You are still running CSR aren't you.

[daveracerdsh]

Csr

I think we are going to have a full field in CSR at nationals. Region ten has seen an upswing in recent years, so don't worry....you will have a class to run in. And I still hate Talladega nights!

[Racerkyle20]

Dave

If you don't chew Big Red then F*** YOU! Talladega Nights is funnier then hell dave!

Kyle and Zach

[14-H]

Apology Needed

The only person who needs to apologize here is Dave Anderson. Dave: your slander against Talladega Nights is unforgiveable. I have watched it several times and it is funnier each time. It's such a good one, I have abandoned some of those 80's movies I usually quote (for a while, anyway). Shame, shame, Sir!

[jeff55v]

My public apology...

I need to apologize for some things I've done in the past. It'll be good for me to get this off my chest.
First, I'm sorry to Mike Harderson, My third grade classmate. I was the one who glued a guinnie pig turd to your solarsystem chart for the science fair. It was "in orbit" around Jupiter. I'm sorry I never fessed up, even though our teacher interogated the entire class for an hour!
I'm sorry to Dave Stolzfus, a Navy shipmate. I'm sorry for tying you to your bunk with dental floss while you were asleep. I'm also sorry to all my other shipmates who had the hot water supply valve turned off during your shower... it was me who turned it off.
I'm sorry to the hundreds of people to whom I poked a hole in your pop can so as to make it dribble down your front when you took a drink.
Most of all, I'm sorry to Fluffy the cat. I'm sorry for shocking you with a Merc. magneto. You never suspected the wire running into the milk bowl, or the wire attached to the metal plate that the bowl was resting on. I'm sorry for laughing at the look on your face each time you got shocked.
O.k. I feel better. Thanks Daren for starting this "theraputic" thread.

[17W]

I need to apologize for some things I've done in the past. It'll be good for me to get this off my chest.
First, I'm sorry to Mike Harderson, My third grade classmate. I was the one who glued a guinnie pig turd to your solarsystem chart for the science fair. It was "in orbit" around Jupiter. I'm sorry I never fessed up, even though our teacher interogated the entire class for an hour!
I'm sorry to Dave Stolzfus, a Navy shipmate. I'm sorry for tying you to your bunk with dental floss while you were asleep. I'm also sorry to all my other shipmates who had the hot water supply valve turned off during your shower... it was me who turned it off.
I'm sorry to the hundreds of people to whom I poked a hole in your pop can so as to make it dribble down your front when you took a drink.
Most of all, I'm sorry to Fluffy the cat. I'm sorry for shocking you with a Merc. magneto. You never suspected the wire running into the milk bowl, or the wire attached to the metal plate that the bowl was resting on. I'm sorry for laughing at the look on your face each time you got shocked.
O.k. I feel better. Thanks Daren for starting this "theraputic" thread.

Now that is funny!

Darren- You originally had my name in the apology.....now it is not. Regardless you have no need to apologize to anyone. Because I do not intend to.

[kws]

well
I am sorry for putting the firecrackers with the candle behind the toilet in the boys room in 8th grade i am allso sorry the principle was sitting at that toilet when they went off! ( well it seemed funny to me at the time)
I am sorry i filled that 5 gal jug with oxy-acet. and threw it on the fire. BILL i wasnt trying to give you a heart attack!( he didnt have one)
i better stop now before i get into trouble

[14-H]

***, Ed Hern, etc, for all I have said in my HR postings. I***
***.

Daren: You spelled my name wrong. Now I am really mad! Ed.

[MGallagher]

"Everything. OK! I'll talk! In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog... When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out... But the worst thing I ever done - I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa - and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life."

[csh2z]

Ed you spelled Daren's name wrong!