Yes folks, bear with me here... this is what it has come to down here at the kneeler/laydown level.
Before I get to the need for the "new rule"... let me S H A R E with you a little incident which took place at the race I attended last weekend up here in Maine ( aka Life in the slow lane ). A gentleman of middle age decided to come and see... for the first time ever.... a boat race. He was carrying a pretty expensive camera and wearing an expensive pair of Reeboks, and he obediently signed the waiver and obtained a wristband so he could really see things. This fine gentleman wandered thru the pits photo-ing and finally taking a seat on a nice rawk (that's how you pronounce ROCK in Mainah). He then made a grievous grievous mistake........he removed his Reeboks and sat there with his feet in the warm water at the waters edge.
Now.... as all of you readers must (or should) know.... especially if you're an APBA member.... such careless behavior is NOT ALLOWED.... NONONO! As ones TOES must not be exposed IN THE PIT AREA lest our insurance minders find out and we get sh-tcanned K&K fashion.
So... what happened. Welll... I'll tell you One of our race officials simply walked up to the person and explained that he must WEAR HIS SHOES. The gentleman was taken aback... HUH? he said. I stepped over and supported the race official and briefly explained that it was AN INSURANCE REQUIREMENT.... He balked. I offered to let him wear a pair of my wet Nike's, but he said "No... I'll just leave.. I've never been toi a boat race before and just wanted to take some pictures.... that's okay... I'm leaving now." As he put on his shoes and left.
Can any of you see the impact of this stupidity? No no... I'm not faulting the race official... not one bit. For all he knew, the guy with the camera was one of the insurance company minders sent out to see if SSOA was going to comply with THE FRIGGEN RULES... you betcha!!! I douibt that the camera-guy was from the Insurance Co.... but I'll bet you that it'll be a cold cold day in ....errr ahhh MAINE before that guy EVER goes to watch another boat race where he can't relax and dangle his feet in the water as he takes pictures.
My friends.. ie, those of you in my ever diminishing circle of friends... we are shooting ourselves dead in the foot.
NOW.... "the New Rule" cometh, here it is: "There will be NO high-heeled sneakers allowed in the pit area - period" RATIONALE: My X, wearing a full compliment of Victoria's Secret attire to include a pair of Gucci Hi-heeled sneakers.... nearly tripped (due to the shooze) falling almost head-first into a lit bar-b-que grill, knocking all the hot dogs and burgers into the sand. As you can imagine... this would have been one helluva insurance claim. Hence the need for A NEW RULE.
Thanks for reading. Have a nice rest of the freaking day/night.
Alex
The Mad Russian 8A & 12A DSH
Commission, Stocks Region One
Before I get to the need for the "new rule"... let me S H A R E with you a little incident which took place at the race I attended last weekend up here in Maine ( aka Life in the slow lane ). A gentleman of middle age decided to come and see... for the first time ever.... a boat race. He was carrying a pretty expensive camera and wearing an expensive pair of Reeboks, and he obediently signed the waiver and obtained a wristband so he could really see things. This fine gentleman wandered thru the pits photo-ing and finally taking a seat on a nice rawk (that's how you pronounce ROCK in Mainah). He then made a grievous grievous mistake........he removed his Reeboks and sat there with his feet in the warm water at the waters edge.
Now.... as all of you readers must (or should) know.... especially if you're an APBA member.... such careless behavior is NOT ALLOWED.... NONONO! As ones TOES must not be exposed IN THE PIT AREA lest our insurance minders find out and we get sh-tcanned K&K fashion.
So... what happened. Welll... I'll tell you One of our race officials simply walked up to the person and explained that he must WEAR HIS SHOES. The gentleman was taken aback... HUH? he said. I stepped over and supported the race official and briefly explained that it was AN INSURANCE REQUIREMENT.... He balked. I offered to let him wear a pair of my wet Nike's, but he said "No... I'll just leave.. I've never been toi a boat race before and just wanted to take some pictures.... that's okay... I'm leaving now." As he put on his shoes and left.
Can any of you see the impact of this stupidity? No no... I'm not faulting the race official... not one bit. For all he knew, the guy with the camera was one of the insurance company minders sent out to see if SSOA was going to comply with THE FRIGGEN RULES... you betcha!!! I douibt that the camera-guy was from the Insurance Co.... but I'll bet you that it'll be a cold cold day in ....errr ahhh MAINE before that guy EVER goes to watch another boat race where he can't relax and dangle his feet in the water as he takes pictures.
My friends.. ie, those of you in my ever diminishing circle of friends... we are shooting ourselves dead in the foot.
NOW.... "the New Rule" cometh, here it is: "There will be NO high-heeled sneakers allowed in the pit area - period" RATIONALE: My X, wearing a full compliment of Victoria's Secret attire to include a pair of Gucci Hi-heeled sneakers.... nearly tripped (due to the shooze) falling almost head-first into a lit bar-b-que grill, knocking all the hot dogs and burgers into the sand. As you can imagine... this would have been one helluva insurance claim. Hence the need for A NEW RULE.
Thanks for reading. Have a nice rest of the freaking day/night.
Alex
The Mad Russian 8A & 12A DSH
Commission, Stocks Region One
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